Commentary: Be in Charge - Mentor self as you do others Published June 6, 2013 By Chief Master Sgt. Mark Kloeppel 349th Medical Group TRAVIS AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. -- Self-mentoring: when a self-starter is willing to take the initiative, while navigating within the culture of his/her environment, of accepting responsibility for his/her own development by devoting the time and energy, in order to make the most of opportunities to strengthen competencies needed to enhance knowledge, skills, behaviors, job performance and career progression. Wow, Chief what are you talking about? Let's look at mentoring from a different perspective. If we look at self-mentoring from the eyes of athlete it becomes crystal clear. When I was a young athlete in my prime (my wife calls them my glory days), I used this self-mentoring technique to become a better basketball player. I would take every opportunity to practice different skills. I would try and perfect the no-look pass or the perfect free throw technique (using the exact same body movements, ball aim, rotation and shooting angle every time), or using the rim to separate my reverse lay-up from the six-foot, seven-inch center who was trying to swat it to the tenth row bleachers. I would watch one of my team members with a particular great basketball skill, or someone I was playing against from another team, or even watched the Pros, admiring a skill that I knew I wasn't as proficient in. Then I would go about my task of trying to perfect that particular skill. That, in a nutshell, is self-mentoring. Now that I am a great basketball player, (chuckle), I have moved on to try and self-mentor in other areas of my life. And I know what you are thinking-- it was not a peach basket and yes, that's me in the picture, and I know the shorts were short back in the day. To self-mentor, you first must have self-awareness. Self-awareness means knowing your needs and values, your strong points and limits, your passions and your distinctive quirks. It means having a deep acceptance of what makes you a unique human being. On a deeper level, self-awareness means knowing how you react in different situations, accepting full responsibility for your behavior and feelings. Having a better understanding of oneself is the first step to having a better relationship with others around you. This is because self-awareness is like a mirror; it provides a way to view and expand our understanding about other points of view. Self-awareness also means having a clear picture of our internal motives, those things that compel us to say what we say, and do what we do. While the importance of self-awareness may be easily understood by most of us, achieving it is easier said than done. I have heard this set of skills defined as "emotional intelligence" or "Interpersonal intelligence". Steven Covey, the well-known continuous improvement expert said "Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom...the power to choose, to respond, to change." What I am telling you may be easily understood and difficult to achieve, but it takes effort and a deliberate life-long learning perspective. Even the Bible exhorts us to be self-aware and self-mentor. In 1 Timothy 4:16 it says, "Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers." Here is what you can do to hone your self-mentoring skills: - Do an honest self- assessment - Make a deliberate effort to identify knowledge, skills, behaviors or abilities that you admire in your family members, friends, superiors, peers or subordinates. - Practice until you have mastered it. This can also be done if you identify something you disdain in others. In your self-assessment, make sure you are not doing the exact thing you dislike in others. - Be a life-long learner. - Don't wait around for someone to mentor you. You are in charge of your own future.